The creepy eHarmony guy

Posted in Life, in general, TV/Celebrity by

After working with Match.com for more than a year, I may be biased in thinking they’re the best online dating site. But, since eHarmony didn’t allow same-sex matches for the longest time — that’s just not reality to me. And, who would trust a dating site that doesn’t have a grip on reality? Furthermore, who would trust a dating site that has the creepiest.commercials.ever?

Have you seen these shudder-inducing eHarmony commercials, where 79-year-old Founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren, drops in on the daters, to give them advice on using eHarmony? Continue reading →

Why did I grow up?

Posted in Life, in general by

I went to visit some dear friends of mine last evening. Two of them have the most adorable little boy in the entire world (who, while babysitting, I adorned with a backwards diaper). He is 3 years old. My mom came along, as well — anddirt while we were chatting — about moving, engagement, babies, life — my mom sat on the floor, chatting with him about the baby his mommy is currently carrying.

“So, you’re gonna have a baby soon”, she asked.

“Yeah. Where’s your baby”, he replied.

My mom pointed to me and said, “She’s my baby, did you know that?”

He thought about this.

“Why’d she grow up so big?”

Mind.blown.

It was a simple question on his part. Why did I get to be so big, physically, if I were a baby? But to adult me, it certainly had a more profound meaning. Continue reading →

Pop stars aren’t parents

Posted in Fluff, Life, in general, TV/Celebrity by

I caught this article on HelloGiggles via Facebook last night, blasting Selena Gomez’s new song, “Come And Get It” — and it’s gotten me all sorts of annoyed. But that’s nothing new, since each time I read something that blames pop stars for being bad influences on young girls, I immediately cringe and roll my eyes. I mean, who’s the parent?images

It’s such an old, yawn-inducing cop out.

I can remember riding in the backseat of my friend’s parents’ car in 1991, when Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex You Up” (you’re welcome — good luck getting it out of your head) came on the radio. I remember feeling torn, because it was a popular song and I wanted to sing along to it — but also embarrassed because my friend’s parents were present, and…well, the song repeated the word sex over and over. I was 10 years old. I knew it was an adult thing, but I had no real feelings toward it, and I didn’t even know exactly what the song was implying. I think I thought by wanting to “sex the girl up”, he meant really wanted to dance provocatively with her at someone’s birthday party at Secrets.

I never listened to kid’s tapes in the car. We listened to the radio. And, whenever a sex-y song came on — from Paula Abdul to Janet Jackson to Madonna — my mom never once got all flustered and flew forward to shut it off and hide it from me. No. And, she certainly didn’t write a hipster blog post complaining about how women should basically be sexually ambiguous, never, ever talk or (gasp) sing about sex, and should just shut up and exist. Continue reading →

Who needs to eat lunch…really?

Posted in Life, in general, Quickies by

manicureLunch isn’t my favorite meal of the day. That would be breakfast. 90% of the time, lunch fills me up too much to really be hungry for dinner. Which, is OK if I don’t have dinner plans. Also, I would rather use a lunch break to run errands or do something not related to food…unless it also involves a sunny patio and cocktails. That’s lunch.

But, if I worked on Cap Hill, I’d be all over the food trucks. I have fond memories of visiting those trucks whenever I’d spend the day at work with my mom. Which, was quite a bit over the summers. And, since today is gorgeous, weather wise, it got me thinking of them.

AND.

That got me thinking of what else can be delivered by trucks. We know there’s food trucks and cupcake trucks. But, how about spending your lunch break with a mani-pedi truck, or a coffee truck? Or…both. In one truck. Continue reading →

I will NOT miss…

Posted in Life, in general, Quickies, Shopping by

no_thumbs_down_sticker-rd029915fddbd4d6f923e1ba231ff8d14_v9waf_8byvr_512Route 4. AT ALL. I remember when Route 4 was suburban and actually a very nice drive. Not anymore. It’s pure stress and annoyance.

Local radio stations. I’m sorry, but there’s only like, 5 listenable (to me) radio stations in this area and all 5 are almost always playing commercials at the exact same time. And, when they’re not, 3 of them are playing the same song. You would think they could do something to work together and figure that timing thing out. And…why does every radio station have to have a morning show? Sure, there are mornings I don’t feel like listening to music, but can’t we pick one station for a morning show? In other words, does the Elvis Duran show really need to exist? No. And, where I’ll be in IL, they don’t.

Pearl Street. What happened?! Continue reading →

Don’t date me yet

Posted in Life, in general by

1219-engaged-woman-with-friends_weThe big move to Chi-city (I will never, ever call it that without being somewhat joking/impersonating a rapper) and getting engaged have often been news I’ve shared at the same time. So, it usually went like this:

Me: “We got engaged!”

Them:    :)

Me: “…and we’re moving to Chicago!”

Them:   :( but  :) … but  :( . Did you set a wedding date, yet? :)

And, to be honest, I’d feel a bit deflated — like they were saying, “OK I’m over your engagement news, so happy for ya, blah blah, nice ring, yep, blah…IT’S NOT REAL UNMoving-boxes2.7445211_stdLESS YOU HAVE A WEDDING DATE.”

And, my smile would either fade or just stay plastered on my face while my head would just shake “no”, because…we’re moving to Chicago. I guess I just also have packing, the drive out there, the new place and new area, the new job, decorating the new place, Moxie’s acclimation to the new place, finding new doctors, etc. etc. on my mind. I mean, I think it makes sense to actually get there and get settled before thinking about a wedding, no? Maybe I’m wrong, because when I’ve explained that to a couple people (women), they would just smile blankly, nod and shrug without saying a word. Continue reading →

I’m on Kim Kardashian’s side (just this once)

Posted in Fluff, TV/Celebrity by

I sat under the dryer, lookin’ all fancy-dancy glamorous in my cape with a plastic hair cover on my head — and in a very Steel Magnolias-esque moment, a woman walked over to the stack of magazines next to me. She pointed her finger down sharply on a cover.

“She looks bad“, she exclaimed with a passion that shocked me a little, even over the loud hum of the dryer.

She walked away as promptly as she came, and I twisted my head to see what/who she was dissing.

I saw a very pregnant and bikini-clad Kim Kardashian on the cover of US Weekly, and thought, in response, Um. No.she.does.not. Continue reading →